Stories

Anonymous participant 879

While with my ex, I'd sold my car just before we moved in together, he'd told me i could use his whenever I needed. Worst thing I could of done, i had no car, moved into a caravan on an acreage property that was fenced & a locked gate, he intimidated me into not touching my phone i was too scared to touch it, he stopped working, was with me 24/7, literally never more than 5ft from me. He controlled every aspect of my existence. I couldn't go to the toilet or shower without him right there, he also took the door handle off the caravan door on the inside when I attempted to escape him the first time ( i was unsuccessful) hed keep me awake for up to 3 days at a time. Id be lucky to get 1 or 2 broken nights aleep a week the entire relationship. He finally dragged us into homelessness & was controlling as ever. Id lost all my support networks from him isolating me. He'd utilise my money after spending his. The mind games, non stop antagonisation, deprived of food when he'd take off in the car with the esky & the food id paid for & leave me with nothing on the streets, but torment me constantly with hundreds of calls & msgs abusing & threatening me, while i tried to hide from him. I lost myself, my financial independence, my mind & he broke my spirit. I was an absolute shell of a person. I attempted more than once to escape him, but he'd stalk, threaten, harrass me relentlessly & also threaten suicide repeatedly. The guilt trips, mind games were relentless. I near gave up on life & felt there was no way out & he was never going to let me. It was brutal. With the last of what little strength I could find, I fled into a police station, shaking crying & absolutely destroyed, i could barely breathe, i was a mess. If it wasn't for that officer that day, i don't know id of survived. The severity of what I went through, I can't even find words to explain. "Just leave" is not as easy as people think, with an abuser u dont get to leave, u have to escape. A protection order was put in place & 1.5yrs later I'm still being hunted, intimidated, abused & threatened by him, but I'm safe. I still have a home, li w out of a suitcase & in crisis accommodation. I'm no where near myself anymore but I can breathe without him 5ft from me at all times now. No matter how difficult it is, your important, your life matters. Never give up hope.